Featuring guest STAR writer and roommate, Rachel Kassenbrock
This flippin' flappin' hill
Makes me want to take a suicide pill.
If you weren't my only way home,
To you I would never rome.
At the end of a long day, my legs are already tired.
The last thing I feel is readily inspired
To climb your menacing, lengthy slope;
If you were human, I'd call you a dope.
I'm annoyed walking at a 45 degree angle,
With my limbs all twisted up and mangled.
The only upside to this wearisome battle
Is that I have glutes fit for any saddle.
At night you loom, dark and spooky
And you're home to people slightly kooky.
Many who invade my personal space;
Perhaps its time to invest in some mace?
My breath, it grows hot and heavy,
All this physical activity makes me dizzy.
The only thing that gets me going
Is Alto Nido, bright and glowing.